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Your life, little flower
sprung out
like a snake
from a can
lungs not ready
you hit the air
it hit you
violently in
whole systems
months too early
this life on earth
and its lightning
hit and burnt
everything, as
nothing about you
was anywhere near
ready enough
and ever so luckily
your wings were
slow to form too
as it was all
we could do
our weight
and ropes
were barely enough
to keep you
from floating away
but eventually
your wings
pulled back inside
and years later
we're the ones
still learning
to breathe
NaPoWriMo April14th
When you come so close to losing so much, it stays with you- because you know how much you owe.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-05-05
Our Weight and Ropes by BlackBowfin "captures the almost indescribable feeling of how life changes unalterably once you've come close to losing so much" (suggester's words). ( Suggested by beeinthebottle and Featured by neurotype )
:iconmetamage:
metamage Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is beautiful. Just love it. I did Nanowrimo this last year too. What an experience.
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you much.  NaPo got me back into writing this year.
Reply
:iconmetamage:
metamage Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Did it? That process is fantastic/exhausting/successful as all get-out! Ha! I had to take a break AFTER Nanowrimo!
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I had a hard time slowing down, but now I'm down to one or two pieces a week.  :)
Reply
:iconmetamage:
metamage Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw jeez . . . :)
Reply
:iconakrasiel:
akrasiel Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2014   General Artist
Very powerful. :heart:
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you much.  :)
Reply
:icongarlicfarmer:
garlicfarmer Featured By Owner May 16, 2014
beautiful!
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so much:).
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:clap:
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Well, I got tired of looking for a bowing emoticon, so I'll just say.... thank you, thank you. :)
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:bow:


:giggle:
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hell yeah, thank you!  High-five! 
Reply
:iconchinook84:
Chinook84 Featured By Owner May 5, 2014
Wow. Such intense imagery in a tiny package. And my heart breaks and sings in equal parts.
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the comment and read.  I'm glad it moved you.  :)
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
I’m very happy for you!!! :iconloveloveplz: :tighthug:
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so much! :)
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner May 13, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconflyingheartsplz::iconsweethugplz::iconflyingheartsplz:
Reply
:iconthegamemasters:
TheGameMasters Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Student General Artist
Still breathing
but barely getting along
i can almost
see the milky way 
in your 
depth too deep
eyes
~silent somebody
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Heheh.  Thanks for the read and comment.
Reply
:iconmoonylikeswaffles:
MoonyLikesWaffles Featured By Owner May 5, 2014
Excellent job!! Very good!
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hey there.  Thank you much. :)
Reply
:iconedges-to-everything:
Edges-to-Everything Featured By Owner May 5, 2014
sprung out
like a snake
from a can


This is my favorite bit for the action it brings to my mind's eye.

Bravo, my friend. :clap:
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hey.... I found a way to get you to read my poem- hahahah.  Thank you, Mike.  I really wasn't sure about the snake part, at first, but it grew on me after a few reads.  Thank you, thank you....
Reply
:iconedges-to-everything:
Edges-to-Everything Featured By Owner May 5, 2014
I have in fact been watching for your first DD. I now have the green light to read all of your works! (:
Reply
:iconstargazeschrecken1:
StargazeSchrecken1 Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
While reading your poem I had shivers. Thinking of my own baby and the worries we had I can't imagine what you must've been through. You did a great job putting your feelings and your and your baby's history into words shining so heavily with emotion. I'm really moved, moved enough to leave a comment as rarely as this occurs. You well deserve the DD.
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for commenting.  I'm glad it worked for you.  :)
Reply
:iconghostinafog:
ghostinafog Featured By Owner May 5, 2014
congrats on the DD, you really deserve it. and this is very powerful as the others have mentioned. (somehow i missed this one - shame on me :D)
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hey there, friend.  Don't sweat it.  April was a crazy month.  Thanks for the congrats and thanks for being a regular supporter.  It means a lot!
Reply
:iconsaiyanpelt-and-co:
Saiyanpelt-and-Co Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Lovely poem. Congratulations on the daily deviation. :)
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you kindly.
Reply
:iconterramarmsxiii:
TerramArmsXIII Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
awesome DD great work!
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I saw your message this morning and thought you mistook me for someone else.  haha.  Thanks!
Reply
:iconterramarmsxiii:
TerramArmsXIII Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
oh no i knew it was you, great work!
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I didn't know that I had a DD until I saw your message.
Reply
:iconterramarmsxiii:
TerramArmsXIII Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
you didn't....wow
Reply
:iconcloud-factory:
Cloud-Factory Featured By Owner May 5, 2014
Congrats! :)
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Much and many thank yous.
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'd consider taking the minimalism just a little further, but as is this is quite powerful.
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, reading back through it enough times, I found some things I may change someday, but it's not time for that yet.  It's new enough that I still appreciate the missteps, repetitions and half-baked-ness of it because it's meant to document a very shellshocked and uncertain time in my history.  I appreciate the compliment, comment and read.  Thank you.
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:)
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Heheh, Hi Five!
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:highfive:
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, that's it!
Reply
:iconmattiello:
Mattiello Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Professional Writer
Excellent.  Love the pace. 
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks man. I appreciate the read and comment.
Reply
:iconmattiello:
Mattiello Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Professional Writer
Not a problem at all.
Reply
:iconbeeinthebottle:
beeinthebottle Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014   Writer
and years later
we're the ones
still learning
to breathe


Been there, although not with (what sounds like) a preterm baby. My daughter had leukemia. This piece captures the difficulty of trying to move forward. Brought tears to my eyes. Simply beautiful.
Reply
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hello there, good to see you.  Yes, she was a micro-premie.  I appreciate the fave and comment, of course.  As I'm sure you know, it's hard to write stuff like this on many levels- much less put it up before the world.  However, I was trying to pound something out for NaPoWriMo and her little throat/nose was snoring in the background and I knew that I needed to change directions and get this out.  Thanks again.
Reply
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