Empty But Alive

breathing you in, october
i taste the numbing agents
even on the very surface
of your conspiracy, this
prepping of the patient
this unworking of the earth
sealing it as-is
hardening the sites
of future graves, forced shallow
not harvesting, just weakening
arranging late-year stacks
of blurry panic, while disabling
the defensive response
so much decline to wage
before the winter kills

october knows i'm a fool
for the dark underbreath
of its dead open air
the howl of the breeze
through its night fields, empty
but alive, and so very not empty
its rhythm of silence
between barks and calls
stalls my heart mid-beat
i used to pray for its engines
to restart, before it hit ground
but now i realize
that there is no floor
to this dream
and no bottom to this fall